Cholent For Two

Cholent: A stew that has its origin in the European shtetl where the impoverished families used very tough meat as a source of protein. This meat, in order to be edible was cooked overnight with potatoes, beans and any other available vegetables.

Cholent for Two

I got a shtick flaysh

From my butcher named Maysh

Is this a rock or a stone?

It’s as hard as a bone.


What can I do?

Make a tzimiss or stew?

For this kind of flaysh

A cholent will do.


Buhrikess and beblach

A mehrr mitt a tsibbelleh

Cook slowly overnight

Watch the pot so it doesn’t dribbeleh


Carefully set the table

With a place for two

Use a hacksaw and sledge

And you’ll enjoy a cholent for two.


Let’s have a fourshpize

I’m a bisseleh farshtupt

Boil me some floimen

Maybe the stupt will erupt


Did I hear flankem

Mitt ah lokshun kugle?

A burial site awaits you

With “Taps” from a bugle


OY! Where’s the Maalox?

My heartburn’s on fire

Pour in an antacid

There’ll be no cease-fire


Burn the recipe

And don’t save the ashes

Don’t even go near it

Or you’ll plotz from the gases


Did I forget the cholent

That cholent for two?

It stuffs up the colon

So that nothing gets through.


Is there a laxative in this house?

It’s a struggle to evacuate

Get me on the bowl

Before I detonate


A zissen kompote

Will put an end to this tsuriss

Put your end on the brettle

And feed the cholent to an allosaurus.



flaysh: a piece of meat

cholent: a stew using tough meat and is usually cooked over night.

tzimiss: a stew with potatoes

buhrikess: beets

beblach: beans

mehr: a carrot

tsibbileh: an onion

fourshpize: appetizer

bisseleh fahrshtupt: slightly   constipated

floimen: prunes

flanken: ribs

lokshen kugle: noodle kugle

plotz: explode

zissen compote: a sweet appetizer

tsuriss: troubles

brettle: toilet seat