Cholent For Two

Cholent: A stew that has its origin in the European shtetl where the impoverished families used very tough meat as a source of protein. This meat, in order to be edible was cooked overnight with potatoes, beans and any other available vegetables.

Cholent for Two

I got a shtick flaysh

From my butcher named Maysh

Is this a rock or a stone?

It’s as hard as a bone.

 

What can I do?

Make a tzimiss or stew?

For this kind of flaysh

A cholent will do.

 

Buhrikess and beblach

A mehrr mitt a tsibbelleh

Cook slowly overnight

Watch the pot so it doesn’t dribbeleh

 

Carefully set the table

With a place for two

Use a hacksaw and sledge

And you’ll enjoy a cholent for two.

 

Let’s have a fourshpize

I’m a bisseleh farshtupt

Boil me some floimen

Maybe the stupt will erupt

 

Did I hear flankem

Mitt ah lokshun kugle?

A burial site awaits you

With “Taps” from a bugle

 

OY! Where’s the Maalox?

My heartburn’s on fire

Pour in an antacid

There’ll be no cease-fire

 

Burn the recipe

And don’t save the ashes

Don’t even go near it

Or you’ll plotz from the gases

 

Did I forget the cholent

That cholent for two?

It stuffs up the colon

So that nothing gets through.

 

Is there a laxative in this house?

It’s a struggle to evacuate

Get me on the bowl

Before I detonate

 

A zissen kompote

Will put an end to this tsuriss

Put your end on the brettle

And feed the cholent to an allosaurus.

 

Dictionary

flaysh: a piece of meat

cholent: a stew using tough meat and is usually cooked over night.

tzimiss: a stew with potatoes

buhrikess: beets

beblach: beans

mehr: a carrot

tsibbileh: an onion

fourshpize: appetizer

bisseleh fahrshtupt: slightly   constipated

floimen: prunes

flanken: ribs

lokshen kugle: noodle kugle

plotz: explode

zissen compote: a sweet appetizer

tsuriss: troubles

brettle: toilet seat

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