<\/p>\n
My Marty was on the Dean\u2019s List<\/p>\n
Straight A\u2019s through college<\/p>\n
Put on your raincoat girls<\/p>\n
He\u2019s a fountain of knowledge.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
All the women adore him<\/p>\n
His mother loves him the most<\/p>\n
Try and seduce him girls<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll smolder like burned toast.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He\u2019s a doctor, my son<\/p>\n
The best in his profession<\/p>\n
He\u2019s a proctologist by trade<\/p>\n
But he\u2019ll check the flip side as a concession.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He\u2019s looking for a girl<\/p>\n
Just like me<\/p>\n
Creamy and delicious<\/p>\n
Like crackers with brie<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She should saut\u00e9 him a paella<\/p>\n
My Marty\u2019s gourmet thing<\/p>\n
And I\u2019ll flush down the toilet<\/p>\n
Her nasty chicken-a-la-king<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She should be sexy<\/p>\n
With a high bust if you please<\/p>\n
Mine reached to my cheekbones<\/p>\n
Now they\u2019re down to my knees.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He gets manicures and haircuts<\/p>\n
I pluck the hairs on his nose<\/p>\n
He gets laser for the fungus<\/p>\n
That grows wild on his toes.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He brushes his teeth daily<\/p>\n
Briskly twice each day<\/p>\n
So his teeth sparkle like mine<\/p>\n
And drives the halitosis away<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I won\u2019t allow tattoos<\/p>\n
Maybe a heart with \u201cmother\u201d<\/p>\n
Anything else<\/p>\n
With a pillow I\u2019ll smother.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Do you know a nice girl<\/p>\n
Who is anxious to wed?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll check out her details<\/p>\n
Maybe she\u2019ll meet us in bed.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll pick a king-sized bed<\/p>\n
For the honeymoon<\/p>\n
But if she thinks I\u2019m an intruder<\/p>\n
Then cock-ihr-oon. <\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n But if she marries my son<\/p>\n She better dress classy<\/p>\n Her diction should be precise<\/p>\n And her digestion not too gassy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My Marty was on the Dean\u2019s List Straight A\u2019s through college Put on your raincoat girls He\u2019s a fountain of knowledge. All the women adore him His mother loves him the most Try and seduce him girls You\u2019ll smolder like burned toast. He\u2019s a doctor, my son The best in his profession… Continue reading Look At Him!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3872","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3872","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3872"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3872\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3873,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3872\/revisions\/3873"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}