The Boys Visit The Fitness Center<\/p>\n
The aging process has caught up with the boys. By applying to the fitness center we thought we would reduce its soaring speed. Three flights of stairs brought them to my apartment.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat stinks here? It smells like an old subway toilet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSheila likes my stuffed cabbage. I\u2019m boiling the cabbage to separate the leaves.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen she comes home, she\u2019ll think you had the runs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think your apartment is refreshing with all the garlic you use on everything, even in the orange juice?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHurry up. The boys are waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a minute. I want to get my jockstrap.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJockstrap? No one wears a jockstrap these days.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI always wore one when I played football. It gave me a sense of security.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe way you played ball you needed reflexes, not a jaockstrap to get a sense of security.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Mister Athlete. You weren\u2019t such a hotshot. I remember when The Creep labeled you Trenchfeet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on. Let\u2019s get going. The Baker is waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s about time you guys came down. It\u2019s nearly dinnertime.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe Blink Fitness Center is well-equipped and reasonable. You\u2019re my guests.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember when you didn\u2019t leave a tip for Gene when we had pastrami sandwiches after a stickball game. Now we\u2019re your guests?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s go in.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m having these three guys as my guests.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat will be five dollars apiece \u2013 fifteen dollars dollars.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s pretty expensive for an afternoon of agony.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s the fifteen bucks. Buy yourself a beer and pretzels.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI only have one lock. We\u2019ll have to put all our clothes in one locker.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll our clothes in one locker? Alvin doesn\u2019t use a deodorant. My shirt will smell like I ran the marathon..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA wise guy eh? What about your shorts that you change once a week? They smell like they were marinating in a Korean rice paddy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s this gizmo with two pads?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou place your elbows on the pads and lift your legs to form an L. Try it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUgh! I nearly tore my guts out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou only did it twice. I do it forty times, then thirty and finally twenty.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBig deal. And what does it get you? You still have a pot belly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think we should go to the treadmill. For beginners it\u2019s less complicated and doesn\u2019t rip your kishkes<\/em> apart.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLook at that. Everyone is walking, but they\u2019re going nowhere. I could stand in place and move my legs up and down, it\u2019s the same thing and I don’t have to become a member.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey adjust the speed and the angle at which they\u2019re walking, so it\u2019s really challenging.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cChallenging? That thing with the elbow pads tore my guts apart. I don\u2019t need anymore challenges.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen try the recumbent bike. You sit and watch TV.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRecumbent? We never had that word for the English Regents. Does this also have a speed and angle adjustment?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, just a resistance adjustment.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK. It\u2019s time to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe just came here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Boys Visit The Fitness Center The aging process has caught up with the boys. By applying to the fitness center we thought we would reduce its soaring speed. Three flights of stairs brought them to my apartment. \u201cWhat stinks here? It smells like an old subway toilet.\u201d \u201cSheila likes my stuffed cabbage. I\u2019m boiling… Continue reading The Boys Visit The Fitness Center<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3521","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3521","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3521"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3521\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3748,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3521\/revisions\/3748"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3521"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3521"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3521"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}