{"id":3714,"date":"2017-02-15T11:22:56","date_gmt":"2017-02-15T16:22:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/?p=3714"},"modified":"2017-03-30T18:33:09","modified_gmt":"2017-03-30T22:33:09","slug":"cholent-for-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/?p=3714","title":{"rendered":"Cholent For Two"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cholent<\/em>: A stew that has its origin in the European\u00a0shtetl<\/em> where the impoverished families used very tough meat as a source of protein. This meat, in order to be edible was cooked overnight with potatoes, beans and any other available vegetables.<\/p>\n

Cholent<\/em> for Two<\/p>\n

I got a shtick flaysh<\/em><\/p>\n

From my butcher named Maysh<\/p>\n

Is this a rock or a stone?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s as hard as a bone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What can I do?<\/p>\n

Make a tzimiss<\/em> or stew?<\/p>\n

For this kind of flaysh<\/em><\/p>\n

A cholent<\/em> will do.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Buhrikess<\/em> and beblach<\/em><\/p>\n

A mehrr<\/em> mitt a tsibbelleh<\/em><\/p>\n

Cook slowly overnight<\/p>\n

Watch the pot so it doesn\u2019t dribbeleh<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carefully set the table<\/p>\n

With a place for two<\/p>\n

Use a hacksaw and sledge<\/p>\n

And you\u2019ll enjoy a cholent<\/em> for two.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Let\u2019s have a fourshpize<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a bisseleh farshtupt<\/em><\/p>\n

Boil me some floimen<\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe the stupt will erupt<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Did I hear flankem<\/em><\/p>\n

Mitt ah lokshun<\/em> kugle?<\/p>\n

A burial site awaits you<\/p>\n

With \u201cTaps\u201d<\/em> from a bugle<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

OY! Where\u2019s the Maalox?<\/p>\n

My heartburn\u2019s on fire<\/p>\n

Pour in an antacid<\/p>\n

There\u2019ll be no cease-fire<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Burn the recipe<\/p>\n

And don\u2019t save the ashes<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t even go near it<\/p>\n

Or you\u2019ll plotz<\/em> from the gases<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Did I forget the cholent<\/em><\/p>\n

That cholent<\/em> for two?<\/p>\n

It stuffs up the colon<\/p>\n

So that nothing gets through.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Is there a laxative in this house?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a struggle to evacuate<\/p>\n

Get me on the bowl<\/p>\n

Before I detonate<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A zissen kompote<\/em><\/p>\n

Will put an end to this tsuriss<\/em><\/p>\n

Put your end on the brettle<\/em><\/p>\n

And feed the cholent to an allosaurus.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dictionary<\/u><\/p>\n

flaysh<\/em>: a piece of meat<\/p>\n

cholent<\/em>: a stew using tough meat and is usually cooked over night.<\/p>\n

tzimiss<\/em>: a stew with potatoes<\/p>\n

buhrikess<\/em>: beets<\/p>\n

beblach<\/em>: beans<\/p>\n

mehr: a carrot<\/p>\n

tsibbileh<\/em>: an onion<\/p>\n

fourshpize<\/em>: appetizer<\/p>\n

bisseleh fahrshtupt<\/em>: slightly\u00a0\u00a0 constipated<\/p>\n

floimen<\/em>: prunes<\/p>\n

flanken<\/em>: ribs<\/p>\n

lokshen kugle<\/em>: noodle kugle<\/p>\n

plotz<\/em>: explode<\/p>\n

zissen compote<\/em>: a sweet appetizer<\/p>\n

tsuriss<\/em>: troubles<\/p>\n

brettle<\/em>: toilet seat<\/p>\n

danielwolfebooks@aol.com<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cholent: A stew that has its origin in the European\u00a0shtetl where the impoverished families used very tough meat as a source of protein. This meat, in order to be edible was cooked overnight with potatoes, beans and any other available vegetables. Cholent for Two I got a shtick flaysh From my butcher named Maysh Is… Continue reading Cholent For Two<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3714"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3714\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3753,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3714\/revisions\/3753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}