The Boys Meet in the Diner<\/p>\n
Their conversation at their weekly visit to the diner could have made the Merck Manual a New York Times best seller.<\/p>\n
\u201cI take so many pills that the bottom of my stomach resembles the keys of an old typewriter.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what about my pacemaker\/defibrillator? My chest looks like a deck of cards was planted in it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpell defibrillator.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t spell it, but it knocked me on my ass last week when I went to putt on the twelfth hole at the golf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know, my grandfather said, \u201cGetting old is not for sissies.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat choice do we have? Put an end to ourselves at 50?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, here comes Manny.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAm I late? I thought you said we\u2019d meet at one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t remember your own name without looking at your dog tag.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re having a salad, join us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA salad? Unless it\u2019s all radishes, I can\u2019t eat it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you want? Something more sophisticated like chopped liver?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI take Warfarin so greens are out ever since I had a quadruple bypass.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, what about that chopped liver?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s crammed with cholesterol. I\u2019m taking Lipitor to lower my cholesterol.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m taking\u2026I\u2019m taking. Do you ever eat real food?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI made browned chicken yesterday without the skin.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho bakes chicken without the skin? It probably tasted like the chicken at MacDonalds.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you making fun of my cooking?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJulie, did you ever bake chicken without its skin?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. We have a new maven <\/em>on cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIn the army I ate Shit on a Shingle. It wasn\u2019t bad.\u201d<\/p>\n You probably thought devouring a can of C-rations and a sip on Lister bag water was a gourmet dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHere comes the salads and your peanut butter sandwich. These dishes are for food connoisseurs?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSpell connoisseurs.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSpell it? You can\u2019t even pronounce it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd if I spell it right what will happen?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you really going to eat that peanut butter sandwich? The last time I had one was in sixth grade, and I didn\u2019t finish it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPeanut butter is rich in protein, potassium and its good for the health of your bowels.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow you\u2019re talking. I could sit on a bowl for two hours without squeezing out a fart.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThese are meals for old men who should be in nursing home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOld I am, but in a nursing home never.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll show you. Come with me to the gym after we eat.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t go to the gym after you eat. You\u2019ll get a heart attack.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018I just want to show you the equipment in my gym.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll get a heart attack just by looking at it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t be a shmuck.<\/em> Maybe you\u2019ll join.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going home to join my pillow. It\u2019s time for my nap.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA nap? Nobody naps during the day?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI do and what are you going to do about it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll see you guys next Wednesday at one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTell your wife. You wouldn\u2019t remember.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Boys Meet in the Diner Their conversation at their weekly visit to the diner could have made the Merck Manual a New York Times best seller. \u201cI take so many pills that the bottom of my stomach resembles the keys of an old typewriter.\u201d \u201cAnd what about my pacemaker\/defibrillator? My chest looks like a… Continue reading The Boys Meet in the Diner<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3502","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3502","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3502"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3502\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3537,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3502\/revisions\/3537"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.danielwolfebooks.com\/danielsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}